Decision Time

I have made a decision. It wasn't an easy one to make, mostly because of that thing that drives many people, pride. I have decided to play exclusively Rush Poker.

I know many people who I associate with in the poker world will look at this and think this is a bad or weak decision. It took me a while to make this decision, because I had certain goals in poker I wanted to achieve, mainly being a solid MSNL regular. Doing the Rush Poker instead does feel a tiny bit like giving up and admitting defeat, which I despise more than anything. People who know me well know that I am an extremely competitive person, with as much desire to succeed as anyone else. I poured myself into poker, studying on my lunches at work and studying and playing while home. And tbh, I had the roll to play 400nl before I switched over to heads up, so maybe if I had just stayed on with 6max and never played HU I would be playing 400nl regularly right now. I don't regret the decision though, as it taught me a lot of things about poker and how to think differently about the game. But yeah, a part of me feels like I should not stop my quest for being a solid MSNL reg. But I also know that baby #2 is going to be here soon, which will essentially kill all chances at having the required time to be a MSNL reg, so ...

That being said, the numbers just cannot be denied. I do feel that playing 50nl 6max I can achieve a winrate of 5 ptbb/100. I did the timing on this and I can get in 60 hours of play in a month easily for the time being, maybe even in the future when baby #2 comes, who knows. This can be done easily with the bulk of the time being played on the weekend and would actually give me more available time per month to do things with my family and get in shape. 60 hours may seem like a lot, but I don't go out like I used to with friends anyways, and the wife and Jacob as is are usually asleep by 10 and 8:30 respectively. This gives me a fair amount of time in the evenings on the weekend to get hands in and I can do it some during the day as well. 4 hours a day Fri-Sun means getting just 3 hours in during the week, which seems very reasonable. It would also give me more days completely off of poker. The math works out to being about 1,000 hands per hour. That means 5 ptbb/100 plus rakeback calculated out to being approximately $3,600 per month. Even a modest 3 ptbb/100 with rakeback is about $2,400 per month of essentially variance free money. I do think 5 ptbb/100 is quite reasonable though.

Another benefit of doing this is that I have always struggled with my mental game. Hard as I try, I still sometimes in bad ruts see $ and not bbs. Does this qualify me as a poor player? Maybe so. But it is what it is and I still saw losing 3 flips as $600 and it sometimes was frustrating. It will never be that way with $150. Yet another good thing is the fact that I never have to table select, which takes time of course. So basically other than pride, I can't think of a single reason why I should not give this a try. The beautiful thing about poker is that if things change somehow, I can always go back to regular 6max games, nothing is blocking my options long term.

...

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Poker Sites, Give Up The Booty Please

After waiting for a total of about 5 weeks, I got my refund for my withdrawal the other day from FTP. They screw up everything and their customer service took forever to respond to me, quite frustrating. As a result a while back I cashed out money from Stars and it is taking forever too. This does NOT make me happy. At some point in the near future, I plan on opening a new checking account. I will do this at the local credit union to be used as my personal money account and using it to make withdrawals directly to my account instead of waiting for a paper check. Since I plan on doing this at a bank that is not the same bank as my where all my primary accounts are, it will only be an extremely minor convenience if they close my account a la Noel and others on 2+2.

I may have a new plan for poker, as I have such limited time anymore. We'll see how it goes, I may blog about it, I may not. But it allows me to make decent coin I believe while actually increasing my time outside of poker, which should be pretty cool.

I keep seeing NFL mock drafts where the Lions take Gerald McCoy out of Oklahoma. The draft every April is a Lion's fan Super Bowl tbh. I wish we had won just one more game and drafted like 4th, as I could see Detroit selecting Eric Berry, my boy from Tennessee. Berry is easily the best DB I have ever seen play. The comparisons to Ed Reed aren't really accurate as he is so much better than Reed. I have never seen a safety basically become a shutdown safety. But that is what he is. He is a playmaker, but I see teams just not throwing in his direction of the field, it insane. Despite that, he still nearly broke the record for most INT returns yards in a career, despite leaving as a junior. He is amazing, I am still praying he goes to Detroit, though it is highly unlikely as they have a good SS and need line help (amongst many other things). He hits like John Lynch in his prime, ball hawks like Ed Reed, and can double as a shutdown corner type player, similar to 1997 Charles Woodson. He is a sicko. For anyone wanting to know just how valuable an elite safety is, check out how Pittsburgh's defense performed this year without Polamalu.

Steadily improving with respect to playing the guitar. My fingers on my left hand are starting to toughen up, like all good little boys who practice get. Been listening to loads of Dinosaur Jr. lately, they were always so underrated.

Computer Fixed

Yesterday I was trying to resolve my computer woes and I managed to solve the problem. I saw a cool wesbite that ahd video tutorials on how to remove virus issues from computers two nights ago before giving up and going to bed and was going to try that and then if that did not work, Ian was cool enough to send me a few links I was going to look at.

There was a piece of software that was suppose to be great for handling the virus I had (worm.win32.netsky) that I used the first day of attacking the issue. I tried it and it failed. I tried it again and the virus rendered the software useless and brought up some fake security called Internet Security 2010. For some reason it disappeared when I rebooted my machine in safe mode to try to use a tutorial to solve the issue. I decided to run malware bytes and then restart the machine again in safe mode and try to use a flash drive to install and run the software I found online to remove this virus. Well not only did it not bring up the problems like it did before, but it eliminated my issues with the virus after finding a few cases! I am not sure why it worked after the other time it did not work, but I am not going to question it, just being grateful I am no longer affected.

JamesMa or Grindcore on tap for the lunch video of the day, not sure which I will watch. Most likely the JamesMa video.

Virus - fml

I got a virus this morning on my desktop from www.nfl.com. Shocking as A) this is not a shady site, B) I have software to prevent this shit from happening, C) this filthy fuck of a virus is from 2004, so why this got beyond my antivirus protection is beyond me, and D) I was using Google Chrome, the supposed nuts in antivirus and adware and spyware resistence. Less than 24 hours after using Google Chrome, I get hit. >.<

I spent about 8 hours on this problem tonight and have made exactly no progress. I sit here typing this from my laptop, so at least I am not without internet connection, which will be a basic requirement to solve this problem. This is definitely a frustrating problem, hopefully I can find the answer in the next few days and not have to shell out loads of money or lose everything on my computer's hard drive in order to fix this problem.

I was supposed to talk to a friend tonight about some coaching stuff, I sure am glad I gave him the heads up that I had this problem and was unsure when it would be fixed. So to you I say, I am still in virus limbo and am unsure when I will get this solved, we can either talk later or just drop me an email if you like.

Burgleflickle.

Another Week in the Books

Another week is in the books and this was a tough one. I really had a bad day on Saturday, the worst of my playing so far, dropping 10 BIs. I went over most hands with Rasputin, who was kind enough to offer some advice. There were only a few hands that were debatable in his opinion and I then took those hands to baz last night and he said one of the hands was standard and the other I should have shoved instead of check/calling it off on the river, but the end result was the same. Of course, the play I made still sucked, but it is nice to learn from a mistake and not have it cost you any money, as either way I lose the stack.

• Mental Game: C. It was good for most of the week, but how I felt after Saturday was not good. I do feel I played fairly well until the very end of the last session and stayed focused. I took frequent breaks throughout the day and felt like I was playing well. I should have stopped earlier though, despite having limited time to play, because losing 10 BIs made me feel like I forgot how to play poker. At least it was nice to know when reviewing hands the next day that I still agreed with almost every play I made. It isn't easy to win when you lose with flopped flushes, sets, and you lose with boats on once paired boards, but the negative mindframe caused by a big losing day can lead to poor play and it is important to do what you can to always be in a good mind frame. The only reason I get a C here and not a worse grade is because of the good work I did earlier in the week in this area.
• Studying: B. I watched a couple of videos, posted hands and responded to hands on the leggo forums, and did a sweat with Jason. (Side note: The rude and sarcastic replies to hands on leggo are making me feel like it is 2+2. Maybe it is just me being old, but I grow tired of the disrespectful young players that compromise most people in these forums.). I feel like I am making strides in my game, but still have loads to improve upon. I also am starting to agree with baz's thoughts on videos. I watched the latest 100nl video from Clayton on Leggo this weekend and really felt I gained absolutely nothing from the video. HH videos are the nuts and I never see them on Leggo and don't see them often on DC. I know Jason has moved a HM database before from one machine to another. Dude, how did you do that without removing all the hands from the database? If anyone else knows how to do this, please tell me in the comments box (which is fixed now I believe). I think going over hands and lines from myself and other regs will really do well to improve my game. That would be a good route to pursue and see if that aids in my development.
• Technical Play: A-. Thought a lot more about various plays and bet sizes this week. I got some people to make some pretty poor plays based on inducing with my bet sizing, which was really cool. I made a much better effort to make notes and use them to my advantage. And hands I thought were potentially poorly played by me were deemed not so by some good players, so that gives me some confidence.
• Focus: A-. My focus was really good this week, despite the poor grade in the mental game area. I buckled down and made good notes and observations, I also did very well in thinking about the optimal plays against people as well. I hopeto continue this and build upon it too.

One thing that really helped me as well was a good point made to me by Rasputin. One of the reasons my swings seem to last so long is the low volume I obtain relative to other players who play for a living. Many people get in the same amount of hands in one month that I do in three, so if they have alosing month, it is the same as my having 3 losing months. It makes a lot of sense and I never thought of it that way, which is interesting.

Overall, it was a good week in that it opened my eyes up to some better ways to improve potentially. I am going to talk to whiteheatsyd sometime this week as well about some stuff that he thinks could help me improve, which is good news and something I am excited about. I will improve my play and seek any method I can to do so. I am thinking of getting coaching again as well. It can be a bit difficult to find a good coach who operates on my time schedule, but the reality is that I do need coaching and have to just search hard to find a good one. I am not sure when I will get it though. I want a good coach to really solidify me as a good winner at 200nl. I am playing 100nl now due to roll constraints from a bad stretch and withdrawing a lot of money. Getting a 100nl coach will be primarily a waste of my time I think, I need someone who thinks about the game at a higher level. As much as I question myself in bad stretches, I really do know deep down inside that I am a good enough player to beat 200nl, just not at the clip I would like. Most likely I will be waiting abotu a month to restore some of my roll and then hiring someone along the lines of jk3a. I have always enjoyed his videos and thinks he really communicates his thoughts better than almost any other coach I have seen in videos yet.

Worst Poker Day Ever

I dropped 10 BIs today playing a mix of 100nl and 50nl. I have had worse days as far as money lost, but not bbs lost. It was pretty brutal. I feel I was not playing poorly or tilting until the last session that caused me to be pretty frustrated. It was just brutal beat after brutal beat. I reviewed the hands with Rasputin and he agreed that most of them were just bad luck. There were a few spots where we agreed a different play could have been used, but even in those spots, it almost always still lead to a stack off. I took frequent breaks through the day as well, played a total of 4 sessions, and all of them were brutal. I feel okay as of the time I am writing this about poker. I am doing everything I can to improve, that is all I can control.

On another brutal beat note, my internet is fucking up on my desktop so I am writing this from my laptop. This is not cool. Everything else works on my desktop which is a blessing, but I don't know what the problem is. I tried a virus sweep, nothing. I used Malware Bytes, no help. I reinstalled IE8, no help. I downloaded Firefox on my laptop and instaled it on my desktop. Firefox won't load. fml

Good Quit

Played a session from Hell, and I tried my bery best to not tilt. I tried to brush them all off, but I could not do it. This hand sent me over into tilt land.

SB: $72.90
Hero (BB): $101.00
BTN: $50.10

Pre Flop: ($1.50) Hero is BB with T 3
BTN calls $1, SB calls $0.50, Hero checks

Flop: ($3.00) 9 5 5 (3 players)
SB checks, Hero checks, BTN checks

Turn: ($3.00) T (3 players)
SB bets $1.00, Hero calls $1, BTN calls $1

River: ($6.00) T (3 players)
SB checks, Hero bets $8.00, BTN raises to $48.10, SB raises to $70.90, Hero calls $62.90

Final Pot: $195.90
SB shows T 2
Hero shows T 3
BTN shows 5 5

The good news is I had the discipline to insta shutdown all tables when I felt pissed off. The bad news is that I still got pissed off.

The Ultimate Roller Coaster Hand

This is what I call a roller coaster hand. A roller coaster hand is where you go from way ahead to way behind to way ahead or from way behind to way ahead to way behind. This particular hand saw me go from way behind to way ahead to way behind to finally way ahead. A rare 4-parter!! It occured when I was messing around with the new Rush Poker on FTP. I think this isn't something I will be doing a ton of, but I think it could provide a good change of pace game or wind down game from a session. Play 1k hands or so of 200nl or something, then play 10 minutes of 50nl Rush Poker. Might be something to that. It is fun to me and the one thing I noticed straight away is that you can get deep with the entire table in a hurry. I don't mean like 150 bbs, I mean you can get quickly to the point to where you can get tables where 5 of the players are 300 bb deep. Crazy!

BTN: $37.65
SB: $54.60
BB: $239.75
UTG: $50.00
MP: $29.20
Hero (CO): $69.00

Pre Flop: ($0.75) Hero is CO with K K
2 folds, Hero raises to $1.50, 1 fold, SB raises to $5, 1 fold, Hero raises to $13, SB raises to $54.60 all in, Hero calls $41.60

Flop: ($109.70) 3 K 4
Turn: ($109.70) A
River: ($109.70) K

Final Pot: $109.70
SB shows A A (a full house, Aces full of Kings)
Hero shows K K (four of a kind, Kings)
Hero wins $106.70
(Rake: $3.00)

Comments

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Pleased

This has been my last two days of poker.

You read the blog post title I presume and might ask yourself why I would be pleased with this. The reason is pretty simple actually. I managed to play on and keep my focus despite some tough beats and some poor results. A couple of times I thought to myself, "wtf" but I very very quickly brushed it off and continued playing and played pretty well I think overall. I need to still just remove the thoughts at all of "wtf", but I am making progress and I am regaining my abaility to concentrate on poker and not think about results as much. I still have work to do of course, but progress is progress and I really am gaining confidence in my abilities as well. All in due time.

This is Pretty Funny

Weekly Report ftw

It has been a good week for me. I did not get near the volume int hat I wanted, but I did get a lot in Sunday night when the tables were super soft. I ran pretty poorly overall during the week, but I do feel things are going to come around soon, because I am learning more about various plays and I can feel my mental game improving as well. All good things in due time.

• Mental Game: B+. Beats like this one and this hand (though given the fact that he is a recreational player, I hate my river check/fold. I think I need to bet/fold small there to get value from a 6.). What I thought was a great spot to triple like this one could have really got under my skin as well, given his actual holding and that I just ran into the top of his range basically. (Side note: Not sure what I think of his play. At first I kinda hated it, but if he thought I would always be honest on the river and thought that I would often barrel this turn, then maybe his check/call on the turn is pretty good. It's got me thinking. I guess my range is very polarized on the turn, so maybe it is a good call. What do you guys think of his play? I am not quite sure what to think, could be good, could be poor.) Here is the thing to take away here though. With all three hands, I could have tilted. I could have been annoyed by the situation that occurred, but I instead brushed it off and proceeded to forget about the hand and keep playing the best I could possibly play, at least at the time I was playing. I obviously can learn and improve, but at least I played the best I could at the time. I think I made some good strides this week in this department. It might have a lot to do as well with letting go of putting so much pressure on myself. Things have a way of working themselves out, so I am not going to sweat whether I can help eliminate debt for my family. If it happens, it happens.
• Studying: A-. I was pretty pleased with myself in this area. I had minimal time since I had family in town this weekend. However, I managed to continue to respond to hands on Leggo and really try to work on my game and think about various situations that occur with my own game where I may be confused as to the best play. I need to post my trouble hands more often though as well.
• Technical Play: A. I was pretty pleased overall with how I played this week, even though I only got in about 2,500 hands or so. When I played, I searched for spots for thin value and spots to bet smaller to get a call from a wider range and I feel I did pretty well overall and improved a bit. I notice I still fold too often to 3bets, but that is something I will work on a bit in the coming weeks for sure. I have some friends I may be doing some work with here and there, which will be nice.
• Focus: B+. Again, I have to always be serious about these grades or it flat out won't help me. I felt I was solid overall, but could use some work. I might be being a bit too hard on myself with this grade, because I did have the focus to buckle down and not let trivial shit bother me. But I feel I missed some reads and did not get some quick enough to help me make decisions. My mind also drifted occasionally to other topics while I played, even though it wasn't often. It still happened though and I need to take breaks immediately when this is happening. I didn't do that quick enough tonight, and I feel I went on auto pilot for about 5 minutes or so instead of quitting immediately. It didn't lead to huge errors, but it definitely was not my A game, so it is still considered poor focus.

Overall, it was a good week. I felt like I improved and I am looking forward to really doing better next week. I also hope to get in some better volume as well, we'll see how it goes. As I said before, my family always comes first as they should, so I will play when I can and if I don't have time, so be it. I think this leads to better play as well as an obviously better life in general, since I love my family.

Non-STANDARD Plays

Man, I hate the word "standard" anymore. I just watched half of the newest Grindcore video from Deuces Cracked. It was ... interesting. He had a play where he limped KQo BvB, and then proceeded to raise the BB's raise and then got it in preflop. So it went limp-raise-shove. The BB was a known regular who would be aggressive and knew that Grindcore was making a video. I am not sure at all what this move accomplished, but I am trying really hard to not say it's terrible, but I just don't understand what this play accomplishes. I just flat out don't get it. That doesn't mean it is bad is the thing that I learned in the video. It may be a bad play, but it may not be a bad play. See, the one thing I really got from the first half of the video though is to not be afraid to make unorthodox moves. And when you are making unorthodox moves, you tend to do things that will be spewy from time to time. But I personally need to open up my mind and think even more than I have been lately of various parts of the hands that I play. Maybe in some spots I can make a different bet size to have my opponents do different things. I do pause briefly before making decisions at the tables when I play, but I don't think that is enough. I think that despite that, I still sometimes go into a mode where I just make a default play and don't think enough. So that is what I got from this video. I am looking forward to my next session, to try some things out if I see a spot where I can take a different line and learn a few things. I am not sure if that will be tonight or not, but we'll see. Moral of the story? Don't be so judgmental! Learn that there are plays that can be made that are unorthodox that are better than the default line, so long as there is a good reason to deviate.

Guitar Stuff

I have been messing around with the guitar lately and I am really enjoying that a fair amount. I am trying realy hard to leard the theory behind it as well as some songs and whatnot, so I can make my own stuff up from time to time and I think just like in poker, any time you learn the theory behind something, you tend to understand it and enjoy it that much more.

I learned some basic blues progressions, which is always nice to play and have some fun with the couple of progressions I know. I also need to work on knowing all the pentatonic scales, because they are so useful. Using the minor versions of these scales seems to be the stem of the bulk of blues solos.

For rock, I know some very basic chord progressions, such as the I-IV-V-I most standard progression and have been learning other variations of progressions and why they sound appropriate and why they work. I started to mess around with the various things in my head and on my guitar and found one I like a lot: Em-D-G-A. I am not sure why this works though, I need to learn the theory behind it. I initially thought it was in the key of G, but the A doesn't really fit with that key. Am would be a much more apprpriate chord than A for something in the key of G. Of course, if it isn't in G, then A might be appropriate after all! lol I don't know, I have much to learn and it sure is fun to do it!

First Full Week of Grading

The first full week of 2010 was a little better than the first half week. The results still aren't there but I felt I did better in my areas to be graded than I did before. I am getting to be much more comfortable playing 6max again instead of all heads up play.

• Mental Game: B-
• Studying: B
• Technical Play: B+
• Focus: B+

I had one day where I dropped almost 6 BIs in various suckouts and coolers which got under my skin quite a bit. It wasn't a good game for my mental game and as mentioned before, anytime my mental game isn't there, then it follows that my focus was lost as well. For studying, I responded to some HHs on leggopoker and I watched 2 videos. I will watch some more videos this week and really think about the differences between the professionals plays and my plays like I did last week. It was really cool when I watched JamesMa's 200nl video where we differed on literally only about 2 plays throughout the entire video. Bet sizing was close enough to be considered the same on almost every single hand. That gave me a huge boost of confidence. The reasons for the plays were identical as well, so that gave me a boost of confidence I really needed. I expect to have an even better week this upcoming week with respect to target areas I am attempting to improve upon.

Also, I have family in town this weekend, so my expectations on getting hands in this week will decrease. I do expect to get some in during the week though and maybe can sneak in a few if people head out for a while (think my sister, my wife, sister's friend, and sister-in-law may all go out for a night and I will watch my little boy, meaning I am free at around 8:30 to do whatever. Maybe play some poker, maybe watch a movie).We'll see what happens.

Good and Bad

I played some poker yesterday and things did not go well whatsoever. I played two sessions. The first session had me getting raised pre and postflop almost always. A few coolers and suckouts and I needed to take a break as I felt negativity creep into my brain. The second session was another tough one, where I just got decimated by more brutal coolers and suckouts and I ended up dropping 5.5 BIs. I reviewed many of the hands with my friend Brodie and we did a sweat for some of the second session. Here I will list some good and bad things from the session.

The Bad:

• I definitely tilted, in particular during my first session.
• I made a couple of poor river calls, need to find that fold button more often.
• Started to feel a lack of confidence in my game.

The Good:

• Despite the tilt in the first session, I made a good quit and went to some things not related to poker.
• In the second session, I was very good about not getting too down and I maintained the REM process throughout hands, even going so far on some hands as to say my thoughts out loud.
• I may have found some of my problems. My turn and river aggression frequency is too low. I may trying to bluff catch far too often instead of just value betting my hands. This would definitely explain why my bad runs don't have near the difference in EV as many people see - I am simply getting outdrawn before the money goes in instead of after.
• I have a plan to see if this is the case. I will go through Holdem Manager and do a filter of hands that I win and lose where I take a pot control line. I need to see if I am getting outdrawn and I should be charging people and I also need to see if I am losing too much value with my made hands. The turn isn't woefully low, but the river sure is, so I will look into spots where maybe I should fire as a bluff and spots where I should be getting more value.
• I am watching more videos now during my lunch breaks again to improve my game.
• I am going to make a video and put it up for a review from friends to see if maybe they can spot some flaws in my thinking.

I made a good quit yesterday and I did not let the beatings affect my play. However, I need to get better at not even being affected in the first place. Quitting when feeling tilted is an important tool to have, but the reality is that it is without question a crutch. It is analogous to holding in extra blockers if your offensive line sucks in football. Sure it might help protect your quarterback a bit for the time being, but the underlying problem of a shitty line has not been addressed. The problem still exists, it just is covered up and minimized. This is important for sure, but it is more important to fix the source of the problem. This I will work on.

el oh el

A Cool Hand

I had an interesting hand come up yesterday in my sessions that made me fairly pleased with my thought process. HH and thoughts are below.

MP: $114.90
CO: $103.90
BTN: $70.60
Hero (SB): $173.90
BB: $119.00
UTG: $112.70

Pre Flop: ($1.50) Hero is SB with Q K
4 folds, Hero raises to $4, BB calls $3

It's a pretty obvious and trivial raise when folded to me in the small blind. I don't think there is much to say really about my action here. Villain is 14/13 over 200 hands. I think his range here most of the time is going to be pocket pairs and broadways. I think it is wider than normal, given I have been pretty active at the table, but nothing crazy, he is 14/13 after all.

Flop: ($8.00) 7 7 5 (2 players)
Hero bets $5.00, BB raises to $13, Hero raises to $28, BB folds

I cbet the flop and my plan if called is to barrel most overs as I think his range is primarily medium pps. So if the turn is something like JJ+, I am going to fire the turn and river, since I think a turn bet almost never folds out TT-88, and 66 or a 5 might even call the turn.

He raises me though, pretty small. At the time of the hand, I felt this made almost no sense. This type of player isn't raising a hand like 88-JJ here on the flop almost ever (he will with JJ sometimes if he doesn't 3bet it), and he 3bets AA-QQ almost always. Given I do not think he is calling with suited connectors preflop, I don't think he has a draw worth getting in almost ever. I think he is also likely to flat a hand like 55 on the flop. Therefore, I really can't think of many hands at all that he wants to raise for value here. I opt to rebluff him and I take down the pot.

Any thoughts on the hand are more than welcome in the comments section. Even if you may not agree with the play, I am pretty happy that I was that involved in the thinking of ranges and whatnot to be able to make my decision, trust it, and make my play. Whenever I have played my best poker, I have always went with my thought process 100% of the time. It wasn't always right, but I notice that I trust my reads less when I am playing poorly. So the point of this post is that you need to always trust your reads and to not be afraid ever of being wrong. You will be wrong sometimes, so just be aware that you need to brush it off and keep going with your reads and of course, always be evaluating your plays in your session reviews.

First Recap

Okay, so it isn't a weekly recap, because I want to do them Sunday evenings or Monday mornings, so it is really more of a 3-day recap. Here is my grading for this time span, which I plan to be as honest and unbias as I can be.

• Mental Game: C
• Studying: B
• Preflop Play: B+
• Postflop Play: A-
• Focus: B

There was a stretch on Sunday when I just kinda lost it for a bit. A recreational player wanted to give me action at a higher limit, but I was tilted and had to pass. He was a whale too, who just hit every prayer against me and I presume I am still not back to being 100% as far as my mental state is concerned, because it really annoyed me. I tried to IM a friend who would have loved to play him, but he did not respond sadly. The whale wanted to palay 10/20 full stacked and I saw on PTR, that he did play that high and just was very poor. lol In any event, I got tilted, so I ended the session down 3 BIs and went to put together one of my son's toys. It was cool to watch him play with it, he still is a bit young to do a whole lot, but he does play a little, which is really fun to watch. That is a good way to detilt! I came back and proceeded to play well the rest of the day. I tried to get in some 6max as well, but it felt like I spent more time table selecting than playing, so called it a night.

This hand happened today, which I found amusing. This was before my tilt occured, so it was good to be able to laugh it off. I sent it to some friends as well for a laugh. I am not posting this to post a beat. I am posting it because I could not believe that the villain actually tanked and just called me. Why on earth would he only call and not raise with the stone cold nuts? lol

Hero (BB): $51.70
BTN/SB: $24.40

Pre Flop: ($0.75) Hero is BB with 4 4
BTN/SB calls $0.25, Hero checks

Flop: ($1.00) 7 4 Q (2 players)
Hero checks, BTN/SB checks

Turn: ($1.00) K (2 players)
Hero bets $2.00, BTN/SB calls $2

River: ($5.00) Q (2 players)
Hero bets $7.85, BTN/SB calls $7.85

Final Pot: $20.70
Hero shows 4 4
BTN/SB shows Q Q

I am hoping that this week will much better. I need to improve on these grades in order to see some more success. It is up to me and me only, and I will not fail.

btw, does anyone know how to format on this better than what options are given to you here? I know there has to be a way or something I am missing, because when I paste things into the window on the site, it automatically changes my format to having a gap between paragraphs, which is not normal. I'd also like to know how to do indented bulleting format and things like that. Any suggestions?

This Blog for 2010

For 2010, I have decided I want to do somethign with this blog as a way to help keep me motivated to always be working on improving my game. The best thing about 2009 was my latest downswing in a way, because my attitude got so poor that I was seriously debating giving up on poker entirely. My desire wasn't there anymore, I was playing exclusively for results (or lack thereof), because I want so badly to do well to help my family. This is a difficult thing to admit, because in my opinion, I really feel it is one of the worst things a poker player can ever do. It leads to poor play much easier. It leads to a dislike for the game and leads to just a negative outlook in general, not just with poker.

However, when I took some time to step away from the game, I realized how much I missed it, even though it was a short period of time. I do truly love to play poker. I love that it always forces me to be analytical and think about the various levels of poker, based on what level I perceive my opponent to be thinking on. I love how I can manipulate people into doing what I want them to do based on my hand and their range of hands. I love the way it forces me to work on myself and my mental game. One of the beauties of this aspect of improving my game is that I know it helps my mind frame away from the virtual felt. In fact, at a New Year's Eve party last night, I had someone comment to me how calm I seem nowadays. This was interesting given that I am coming of my worst mind frame with poker to date! lol But it is nice to know good things come from my efforst in all aspects of my life.

I want to start doing weekly updates, most likely done either Sunday evening or Monday morning. I want to grade myself on a few things. I will make a list like what is below and honestly grade myself as a way to keep myself focused on always trying to do my best. If I am doing my best, then that is what counts. Although I think if people were honest with themselves, I'd be all but a few of the people I associate with regularly say they truly give their best efforts always. It is just such a difficult thing to do. That is not an excuse though, just a wake up that people should notice and strive to do their best always. I think I will grade myself on these things:

• Mental Game
• Studying
• Preflop Play
• Postflop Play
• Focus

If I can think of more to put on this list, I will do so. If I feel that some are not important, I will remove them. I will allow myself to post more often than once a week if I feel the desire to make a post, but I think this is something that could really be beneficial to me. I hope you all enjoy following this blog!